Motherhood musings...

Often times, the events of any given day come and go without ever taking a second thought. There are times, however, that make me pause in motherhood and I'm not sure I truly capture some of the seemingly average events because they're just that...average. But they fully encompass my life in this stage. Sometimes, I pull out my phone during the day and I will make note of something that peaked my interest - funny comments from the kids, interesting conversations, thoughts or impressions as I watch a kid from afar. Here are some notes from my phone from several different days spanning three weeks:

I was cooking dinner today and the kids were running crazy through the house. I banned them from the kitchen and forced them outside to play. Hallie and Hunter immediately ran to the trapeze bar and baby swing. I think I've told the kids a hundred times not to play in the baby swing, but they don't listen. I could see every move they made from where I was standing. Bennett had a few near misses as he walked behind the swinging kids - and then he got knocked flat on his back. I debated whether to run out, but instead I watched the other two run to his aid and Hallie escorted him inside - no blood thank heavens. I met him next to the kitchen table and asked if he wanted snuggles. Of course he did, and I plopped down right where I was standing to hold him. I rocked him back and forth and rubbed the back of his head. I noticed how filthy the floor was and wondered how in the world that much food ended up on the ground. Also from this vantage point I could see every little dirty footprint on the hardwood floors. The thought that came to mind, I was shoveling during a snow storm. By the time Bennett was ready to get off my lap - dinner was officially overdone. Fantastic.

Our mauve carpet is officially bugging me - I want it gone now.

I sent Hunter to his room for a little timeout today. He was angry. He stomped up the stairs and in his angriest voice he yelled at the top of his lungs, "I hate you". I smiled and said I love you. "I hate you, I hate you." I'm pretty sure he meant that he loved me too, but seeing as though he said it three times, I can't be sure.

The electrician came out to replace the pool light and I wrote a check for his services. Hallie peered over my shoulder as I quickly scribbled it out. "You're going to pay him that much? That's a lot of money" Yes, it's a lot of money but that's what it costs. She was convinced the service should cost $20. I explained the light alone was 6 times that and then we had to pay for the installation. She said the light should be $18 and no more than $2 to install. "If it costs more than $2 - you should just do it yourself." I'm amazed at the faith she puts in me. I have no idea how to do electrical work, but in her little mind, I have super powers. I like that.

I am exhuasted. Not take-a-nap-and-feel-better exhausted. More like mentally spent. I avoid going to bed at night because I know the next day I have to do it all over again. Sometimes it feels like Groundhog's day. Motherhood is exhausting.

Hunter has found a love for home improvements just like me. He found spray paint and sprayed the carpet, the plasmacar, the outside window and our siding. I wanted to scream and was in complete disbelief that he actually sprayed the paint, not once but several times. I excused myself to be angry in private. Seriously what was he thinking? Later that day a contractor friend was over checking on something for us and he saw the circle of paint on the outside of the house. He laughed when I told him the story - I didn't find it nearly as amusing as he did. "What can you expect; he sees you do things like this all day, he's going to try it out. Just be grateful he didn't try using the saw." I'm making a mental note to show him the proper way to do the things I do instead of pretending he's too young to care or notice.

I'm really enjoying Cannon's baby stage. Can't say that with all the kids! Even when he threw up on me this afternoon, he smiled at me right after and I couldn't help but snuggle up to him - throw-up stench and all.

Steve came home from work to a chaotic house of children and me finishing up dinner. He was trying to tell me a story from work and yet all our little minions were needing his attention. We sat down to dinner with kids fighting over the blue plate, someone complaining about dinner, and someone not being able to find their cup. Steve and I made eye contact with each other from across the table to confirm that our children are crazy. He smiled at me and mouthed "I love you." He's the best.