Our little secret...

We have a little secret...and we're pretty excited about it. For those who have seen me lately probably know its not a secret at all, but we're bringing Baby #5 home at the end of February.

It's been a long, long summer and I've spent more time in my bed than I ever have before. Steve likes to joke that I now have the energy of a normal person - but for me it's really hard to manage this pace. Building projects have all been put on the back burner (and if I'm being real - cooking dinner has been put on the back burner!) and my motivation for much else just hasn't been there.

But I'm almost half-way done and feeling much better. It's just a shame to know I'll only feel this good for a short while before it starts to taper off again towards the end!

Today we found out the gender. We went into this pregnancy with the understanding this is most likely our last one, so Hallie was pulling hard for a sister knowing this would be her last chance. Steve insisted we take her to the appointment today for the big reveal. Steve, Hallie and I sat in that dark room patiently until she confidently declared this baby was a boy. I was happy with this announcement. I was actually hoping for a boy for several reasons. But my heart wanted Hallie to have a sister - just as I've hoped with every pregnancy.

I thought she might keep it together with the two technicians in the room, but she lost it. Sobbing. She had me and the tech in tears over her extreme disappointment. I had prepped her so many times telling her it was probably a boy. But she is young and hopeful and honestly believed it was a girl. It was hard to focus the rest of the appointment as I heard her sniffles coming from the couch. Fortunately, the baby looked totally healthy and it put me at peace. (for some reason this pregnancy I've had worries I never felt with the other pregnancies) A clean bill of health was just what I wanted to hear.

We drove home and had the same conversation I've had with her after every gender reveal. You're my favorite daughter. No one will steal your clothes. You'll never have to share a room, etc, etc. But it didn't calm her like it has in the past. In the past she always held hope that the next one might be a girl. And now her fate has been sealed and it was a hard reality for her. Throughout the night she was up and down. One minute she was fine and then someone would mention the new baby boy and tears once again rolled down her cheeks. It was heartbreaking for me to watch. But then I watched her with her brothers and I couldn't help but think just how great she is for those boys. She's a saint and she loves them even when they steal her candy.

She helped us share with the boys the good news. A nice, friendly, blue silly string war. The minute blue started streaming from the nozzle both Hunter and Bennett screamed with joy that they were having a boy. (Yet another dagger in Hallie's heart!)




Not sure Cannon loved our reveal idea. He was fine until someone sprayed him!


Before we found out, Hallie was adamant that it be a girl. She added..."But if its a boy, I hope its a boy like Cannon and not like Bennett or Hunter." Cannon has a special place in her heart - I think it's the age and he'll grow out of his cuteness to her soon enough, just in time to love a new baby brother.


Hallie and I are going to have to stand strong - we're in this together amongst all these crazy boys. I'm blessed she was my first and these boys don't understand just how lucky they are to have her. Good thing we know how to do boys.