Nothing is safe...

I'm not sure what it is, but every January I have this itch...dejunk and purge. I think it has something to do with the fact that starting at the beginning of October the house is transformed with Halloween decorations, which morphs into Thanksgiving and then Christmas. Three months of it. By the time the last Christmas decoration goes back in the box, I immediately want my house junk and clutter free...like yesterday.

So I went on a rampage and I'm not even close to being where I want to be. I want the fun of seasonal decor and the randomness of all my tools and kitchen appliances but at the same time I want to manage less. Less toys, less clothing, less books...less. I don't want it consuming so much of my time. After getting warmed up on a few closets and cupboards I tackled the dreaded playroom.

The room that never seems to be clean.

The room that can have every toy in its place and within 30 minutes of guests arriving its all chaos once again. I asked each kid what their very favorite toys were and while they were at school the next day I cleaned house. The funny thing is I was hanging on to toys because I liked them. Nice wooden toys that looked cute on the shelf and occasionally were played with - gone. Fun wooden puzzles I always dreamed my children would play quietly together - gone. Toys that had annoying pieces that I always found myself picking up throughout the house, with each bend to pick it up I would vow to throw it away - gone. I sorted through the Little People. You can imagine how many sets we've accumulated over the years. But how many little figurines do you really need - gone. It took hours and it felt good.

The kids came home and were immediately disappointed with all that was gone. I tried convincing them that this would be easier to clean. Hallie piped up, "It's still going to be messy." To which I replied, "Then I will take another pass and eliminate more until we find the balance at which you can keep it clean." She was quick to say, "We can keep this clean."

The funny thing is, they won't miss one thing I removed. If they didn't see the pile in the garage (I wasn't quick enough to donate it!) they probably couldn't identify what was even missing.

I walked by the clean playroom all week and smiled with every passing. This week I'm tackling new areas...nothing is safe!

Brunch for Lunch predicament...

My two older kids take their lunch to school every day. Once a month, the school serves "brunch for lunch" and they eat school lunch on those days.

Last Friday was that special lunch. We weren't aware of it so both kids made their lunch for school. Of course during announcements they hear what is being served for lunch and both are bummed they brought their lunch. Here's where our kids personalities shine.

Hallie - our rule follower - decides that even though she'd really like brunch for lunch, she would eat the lunch she brought. It's the safest decision.

Hunter on the other hand, decides to keep his lunch in his backpack and enjoys a delicious school lunch. To cover his tracks he hurries and eats his sack lunch on the bus ride home.

This situation couldn't describe these two more perfectly!!

Lunch is dangerous, wear a helmet...

Do you remember what it's like to live life without a care in the world?

I don't.

I think that's part of the reason why we have kids. We get glimpses of that care-free world as we watch them play and view their daily interactions. I don't take advantage of those moments often enough.

I do enjoy sneaking a glimpse of this kid's world! He is in that stage that amuses me and yet drains me; so much energy, so little attention and says the darndest things. He likes his sandwiches cut with a cookie cutter but he is always up for negotiations and mac and cheese won out this particular day. He hasn't taken this helmet off since he got it for Christmas. I don't really mind it because he is our most accident prone child and a little extra protection doesn't hurt. Besides, lunch is often dangerous; safety first with this guy!

To add to my amusement he has a hard time with "s" at the beginning of words so Spiderman turns into "pidamin" which is often confused with vitamin!

Toddler Tornado...

The baby in the family is making his presence known. He is making messes faster than I can clean. I left the kitchen for five minutes while I cleaned the sheets from another messy kid and I came back to find the bread cabinet (A cabinet that we stress needs to stay locked...) destroyed. A loaf of bread with bites out of most the pieces. While I swept up the crumbs, he made his way to the bathroom to find another cabinet (which should've been locked) and took things out one by one and threw them in the bathtub.

I came in just in time to see him go up and over the edge of the tub. The door to the game closet was left ajar and he managed to pull down most every card game we own and throw the cards in a nice messy pile on the floor. The piles of clean clothes I put on the stairs for the kids to take to their rooms when they got home, were carelessly thrown over the balcony. Each pillow was thrown off the couch. Did I mention he managed to do all of this without walking?!

He's at such a fun stage where he's exploring everything. He wants to touch and hold things. He likes the motion of throwing. He puts things in his mouth to taste them. But at the same time he's a tornado that destroys everything in his path. I can spend the morning cleaning and within 30 minutes it looks like I haven't touched it.

Which of course is when friends happen to stop by and I try and convince them that I spent the morning cleaning as their eyes glance around the room and assume I must be joking. Nope. No joking here. Just the life of a toddler mom. I promise I don't typically throw my kid's clean clothes haphazardly at the base of the stairs that is visible to every person who comes to our door! That has toddler written all over it.

Daily life...

This picture could be recreated every day. They gather their bikes, scooters, cars and wagons in the backyard. The weather is ideal this time of year and they stay busy until the sun sets. For the most part they're all smiles...until Hunter takes Bennett's bike and rides away faster than Bennett can run! Then there's screaming and yelling on Bennett's part - I'm yelling from the kitchen window and Hunter sheepishly walks the bike back and pretends he doesn't know why is brother just threw a colossal fit. Yep - this scene is a daily occurrence!

Happy Birthday...

My friend delivered her sixth child today in the very hospital we had Cannon.

A year ago I was in her position. I was holding a beautiful, squishy newborn. I couldn't believe all the hair he came with. My body ached, yet it was the best pain a person could feel. I had fears but at the same time I felt complete peace. I was anxious to get home and get a good nights rest (which of course didn't come for months). I had done this three times before and I knew what to expect, and it was the same excitement and love holding him for the first time. As if I knew him and had loved him long before. He was ours.

It's hard to remember that sleepy, squishy stage when you have a near toddler on the loose. Getting into things, gathering bumps and bruises along the way. Each stage is great and each has it's advantages. He screams at the top of his lungs but he also has the best surprised face out of all the kids. We see bits and pieces of his personality as it continues to develop and it's a fun process. Happy Birthday Can Man.

Pants are overrated...

When Cannon was born, someone gave us a onesie that said, "pants are overrated". I laughed because they had no idea how true that statement is in our family - at least those under the age of five. Crawling babies are the worst (right there next to potty training kids!) It doesn't matter how many times I clean the floor, the knees of all their pants are black and worn out. After ruining several nice pieces of clothing the only conclusion drawn was to remove the pants! He's been crawling for a while with no sign of walking...I hope he figures it out by the time the weather cools or else he's going to be chilly! If we're being real...the other upside to no pants - much faster to change a diaper!

Change of scenery...

I will go days without ever leaving the house. It's the way I like it. And often times I forget that life is bustling around outside the walls of my own home.

Once the kids walk in the door from school I start to manage chaos. Helping with homework. Listening to readers. Helping at the piano. Breaking up fights. Fixing dinner. I count down the minutes until Steve walks through the door to share in the chaos with us. Sometimes at this point in the day, I just need to leave. We need an adventure and a change of scenery. I was having such an afternoon when I got a text from my sister-in-law, "Look outside there's a double rainbow."


I gathered the kids and we walked outside (yes this qualifies me as leaving the home!) and we saw the most beautiful rainbows. It doesn't rain often enough to get rainbows so they are extra special when they come. Bennett had never seen one so he was more confused than anything and wondered where the "colors" came from. I sat and enjoyed them until they slowly faded into the sky. The kids had long since lost interest and had moved on to collecting snails and worms. They were happy and dirty.

It was just the change of scenery we needed that afternoon.

Little Red Hen...

Who, as a mother, doesn't feel like the little red hen at times? Asking (if not begging) for help from the children, around the house or in the kitchen. Only to realize that the kids have suffered temporary deafness. But magically, as soon as they hear the timer ring on the oven they come rushing. I think this syndrome plagues most homes of all ages and abilities.

And as tiring as it is, I believe teaching children the need to contribute in order to receive reward is valuable and necessary. I'm sure I'll spend a lifetime trying to shovel that knowledge down their throats!

Bennett learned of the Little Red Hen story recently. He came home with proof that he was a helper and he was proud of his work. So proud that he tripped and dropped the whole loaf on the driveway and still picked it up and took a bite right out of the center.

He was quick to point out that this was his loaf and he worked hard...But he still shared with me.

Reset & Recharge...

I wish I could report a fun-filled weekend with exciting excursions and home projects. But that would be lying. Instead, I will say, we survived the weekend - Saturday in particular. There were no major incidents, just a lot of the same: messes, children fighting, tired kids, more messes. Did I mention there was fighting? Usually our kids play pretty well together, but this was not the case. Not a Saturday I ever hope to repeat. Steve and I took turns "Checking out" as we locked ourselves in the bedroom for a few minutes of peace. I'm actually not sure you can call it peace when one of the kids cries and screams outside the door the entire time.

I'm convinced life with young children is the most unexpected roller coaster ride ever. We ride up, we fall down. We repeat over and over again. We take the good with the bad and hopefully teach and learn in the process. I'm ready to start a new week. It's time to reset and recharge.

5 minutes peace...

We have a book called 5 Minutes Peace by Jill Murphy.

As you can tell by the condition of the book it's been used and abused and the cover is holding on by part of a staple.

The book is about a mom elephant who just wants 5 minutes peace. So she gathers the newspaper and some food and makes the trek to the bathroom to enjoy a bath by herself. Before long each child has entered the bathroom to tell/show their mom one thing or another. And before long each child is in the bathtub with her. She quietly sneaks out and heads back downstairs to the kitchen to enjoy 5 minutes peace. She makes it 3 minutes and 45 seconds before the kids are out of the tub and back downstairs to join her. Every mother can relate to this, right? I feel like I go throughout every day searching for just 5 minutes and unless it's nap time, I rarely find it!

The kids bring this book to me to read and every time I say the same line, "I love this book because it's the story of my life." They look at me confused. I'm sure they're thinking to themselves, this book is about elephants, how is this my mom's life?

B-level cleanliness...

We've got family coming to visit and I'm pretty excited. The funny thing about visitors coming to stay - it always pushes me to do the things I've promised to do a million times. Like the door that is so smudged with fingerprints and dirt I would have a hard time convincing anyone that the door was once white, I finally wiped it down. (pat on the back) Or the picture frame that has hung with a temporary picture in it for almost two years, finally got that taken care of. (pat on the back) Or the silverware that has been disappearing for a while now, to the point that we only have 7 spoons left and we cannot find the rest anywhere; we are now the proud owners of a 24 setting set of silverware. Steve actually gave me a pat on the back for that one since I've promised to go buys a new set for months.

See, visitors kick me into gear...for the most part. There's also the downside of visitors coming: cleaning. I don't think I could put into words my disdain for cleaning. Really. I am great at organizing and picking up and making the house look generally good. But I can't stand the cleaning aspect - bathrooms, floors, baseboards, light fixtures, blinds...I call it the boring cleaning. Because you could spend hours doing any of those items and people visiting your house may or may not ever notice!

On a day-to-day basis I'm okay with a B-level clean, but with visitors we kicked it up a notch. Today we were in clean mode. The kids had their set of chores, I had mine and we went to work. The morning went by quickly and we got a lot done. As the afternoon wore on I could see our efforts from earlier this morning start to unravel. The newly cleaned kitchen floors had fresh crumbs from lunch and then Mr. B decided to dump out the entire container of Perler (melty) beads on the floor. The freshly cleaned windows were covered with what appeared to be licking marks - reminder, we don't have any animals. I had to leave the room. I ran up to change sheets in Hunter's room; the room he had worked all morning to clean and he had legos everywhere and torn up pieces of paper on the floor (which was part of his lego creations...money, I believe). The towels that were once so nicely folded had been jumped on a couple times and now resembled a dirty pile of towels. Seriously?

I started to get frustrated seeing wasted hours. The kids could see I was quickly losing patience. I decided I needed a time-out and walked outside to pull some weeds. The chances were slim that my kids would actually go back and plant the weeds so I found this be rather productive time. And then I came to the realization. This is why I'm okay with B-level clean. The effort it takes to get to A is significant, it inevitably makes me lose patience with my children and it never stays at A for very long.

So the next time you come over and notice the window fingerprints, food stuck to the side of the dining room chair or the dust just remember I've surrendered to a life with young children and B-level cleanliness. And I'm totally happy with that!

Fingerprints...

One look around my house and you can see where I got the inspiration for the name of this blog.

After our staircase painting, we had a lot of dust that settled:


The fridge, microwave and dishwasher look the same way no matter how many times I clean them.

The car always seems to have a little love palm somewhere on it.



And the door that leads to the backyard is covered in smudgy fingerprints. Yes, I clean it. 10 minutes later the first fingerprint appears and it's just a matter of hours before it looks like it was never given attention.

And you know what? I'm totally okay with it. Yes, I would like my windows to sparkle, but instead they tell a story. A story of a little boy who loves his popsicle and takes his cars on adventures through dirt and mud and a story of a little girl and her wet hands from hours in the pool.

I've come to the realization that there will be no clean windows in our house for a while - I'm raising children!

I am a mother...

I am a mother.

I am a mother of four strong-willed young children and in our current position my life is anything but quiet or boring.

I am a mother which means my time is not my own - and that includes showering!

I am a mother who often loses her patience and I find myself asking my children for forgiveness for being short with them.

I am a mother who is trying to enjoy this "stage of life" but I'm often dreaming of being out of the trenches.

I am a mother who finds inspiration in all the strong women that surround me.

I am a mother who doubts her abilities as a mother on a daily basis.

I am a mother who is crying tears of joy one minute and tears of frustration the next.

I  am a mother who worries about her children.

I am a mother who is trying her hardest to fill the role I've been blessed with.

I am a mother who enjoys Mother's day because it's a gentle reminder that I'm doing okay and although my children aren't old enough to show much appreciation I am showered with homemade gifts and coloring sheets and it means the world to me.

We had crepes this morning with fresh squeezed juice and it was absolutely delicious.

I received a booklet from Hunter's preschool where he answered a number of questions about me and many of his responses gave me a good laugh, but this one took the cake:

Glad to know he thinks I need a brush. It's my hope that he doesn't think my hair is bad but he hears Hallie and my conversation every morning as we're searching for a brush...again...

Hallie must have given me three gifts, each one better than the last. I wore a necklace to church today made from hardware washers - it's awesome. She also wrote me a little letter.

Its amazing what small tokens like this do for a mother - makes me wish mother's day came quarterly.

A friend called me this week in preparation for a talk she was giving today and she asked me what the hardest part of motherhood was - my response was short and quick: monotonous. I do the same thing every day. I clean the same messes, wash the same hands, fold the same laundry and break up the same fight. Motherhood is a lot of the same scenery and it gets old.

My friend also asked me the best part of motherhood: seeing my children grow and develop. I play a large role in their growth and it is gratifying to see progress. I get to see little growing experiences weekly and they are by far the highlight of my week. All 52 weeks.

I am a mother 365 days a year. It is not easy and I get very little reward but it is strangely fulfilling and I feel divine powers leading me daily.

I am a mother.

Not so ordinary day...

I woke up this morning, looked at the schedule and made a mental note that it was an ordinary day. Most days are and I'm okay with that. This is how many of our days play out...





But the day shaped up to be anything but ordinary.

I went to the dentist and evidently I have a serious sleep grinding problem and need to invest in a $500 mouth guard. Lame.

We've been introducing solids to Cannon slowly. We introduced peas today - he had a nice allergic reaction to them with hives covering his face and before the day was done he had a nice fever. Good thing we see the doctor for his six month check-up tomorrow.

We have a bad fruit fly problem that I'm constantly fighting - I finally filled the sink with pinesol/water to hopefully kill anything they may be attracted to in the drain.

Bennett was thirsty during dinner and got up to get his own water. Hunter freaked out when he saw Bennett using his cup and quickly confiscated the cup and drank all the water. He stopped with a small amount left saying the water didn't taste good. I knew that Bennett had just filled it up so it wasn't old water. I quickly took the cup and smelled the stench of pine-sol in the cup, Bennett simply filled it with the water sitting in the sink killing the fruit flies. For the record - poison control recommends drinking a lot of water as well as eating salty foods when something like this is consumed.

Bennett struggled the majority of the evening and was sent to his room early to go to bed. He was beside himself and was going to make it known. After several minutes, Steve went back to his room to calm him down only to find he had split his chin and cut up his mouth pretty good in throwing his monstrous fit.

It was a pretty good gouge on the chin which led us to walking to our neighbors for a quick consultation. It was bad enough we couldn't leave it as is - but stitches wasn't a good option because of the location and his little squirmy body.

So, sitting on the neighbors couch we got him glued up way past his bedtime and then rewarded him with a purple popsicle.



The day shaped up to be anything but ordinary. I'll take ordinary (i.e. considered boring days for many people) any day of the week.

We are similar...

Last night I was able to go to a church satellite broadcast with my sweet girl along with every girl/woman 8 years old and older in our church worldwide. This was the first time that 8-12 year olds had been invited to attend and Hallie was so excited she made the cut!



We sat in a sea of women, young and old. Daughters and mothers and grandmothers alike - what a powerful sight it was to see so many women gathered across so many generations for a single cause.

It was touching to see mother's holding the hands of their daughters, holding them close and leading them to their seats. For some reason this struck a chord with me as I could see the love they shared and the special relationship they were nurturing. Several times throughout the broadcast, phrases touched my heart and I turned to make eye contact with Hallie to let her know I agreed with what was said. However, I didn't see her eyes. Instead I saw her profile as her gaze focused on the speaker/video and for a few brief moments I saw her all grown-up. What a tender thought it was for me to envision her raising her own children, I was so grateful to have her sitting next to me so she could hear just how wonderful women are and how important our friendship and service to one another is.

I enjoyed how much focus was placed on our similarities as women as opposed to our differences. President Eyring said, "You are more alike as daughters of God than you are different" and Sister Oscarson shared, "We must stop concentrating on our differences and look for what we have in common."

We all have so much in common. Yes, we wish our hair looked like so-and-so's and that we had the talent of so-and-so and we compare and compete relentlessly - but we all share so much more. I hope more than anything Hallie heard that loud and clear. When we look for commonalities we love so much deeper. It's definitely something I am striving for and hope I can help my daughter to do the same.

Spring break exhaustion...

We started off the week with great energy and looking forward to our spring break... Just a few short days later I'm ready to send them back to school. I love them all dearly but it is exhausting having four young kids around the house all day. (props to all the moms that home school - if I ever thought I could tackle that, I would be second guessing myself after this week.)

We weren't able to go anywhere with Steve's school schedule so I was bound and determined to make the best of our staycation. I planned for a fun activity and a craft every day, not too ambitious but something to keep them busy and happy. This was all good and great and the kids loved the things I planned - but in planning their adventures the younger two were subject to a lot of erratic schedules and it didn't bode well for either one of them. Naps were late. Naps were missed. Snack time didn't take place and they spent more time in the car than they're accustomed to. I love schedules and so do my kids and today we were all feeling it. The kids were at each other, I was snippy and Cannon couldn't seem to fall asleep to save his life. I had another fun outing planned for tomorrow but I'm calling it quits. I'm not leaving the house tomorrow and neither are my kids and I couldn't be happier about the arrangement.

Don't cry over spilled...

Sometimes when the stars align I make time to sweep the floor after lunch. I usually convince myself that the afternoon snack is just going to make another mess, so I might as well wait until later. However, once in a while I get around to it.

One day in particular the house was a wreck and I was bound and determined to get it back into decent shape. I cleaned all morning and even swept after lunch. And this is how snack time looked: My sweet, loving, independent daughter took charge of snack time while I was feeding Cannon. It didn't take long before I heard the commotion and each kernel that fell to the floor was like nails on a chalkboard. I quickly entered the kitchen to a very surprised child and I found popcorn everywhere. EVERYWHERE. (That container you see was full!) Those suckers fell to the ground and rolled into every corner and bounced all over the place.

They say not to cry over spilled milk, but nobody said anything about spilled popcorn. I would be lying if I didn't say that tears welled up in my eyes; not out of anger, but out of the exhaustion of motherhood. Some days are just more taxing than others.

Needless to say, we didn't end up having popcorn that day, but we did the next day and I served as Hallie's assistant to prevent another mishap.

Sunsets...a new experience...

Hallie and I were driving in the car when I was taken back by the beautiful sunset before us. I pointed it out to her in the backseat and she reacted with just as much excitement as I had. And then she made such a profound statement.

"You know what I love about sunsets? They're always pretty and they're different every single night. It makes it a whole new experience every time you see the sun set."

So true. She has my eyes and my love for light. Proud mom moment.

Childhood...

"Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood." Fred Rogers

Sometimes I watch my kids play outside from the kitchen window. They create make-believe lives, in a make-believe world and they dream of dreams I would never admit to having as an adult. They see the good in people and in life and they have very few fears. I worry they'll fall off the trampoline. I worry they will get stung by a scorpion. I worry that someone will approach them as they walk down the street. I worry about them. Constantly. And yet, they blissfully play in a world where worry seldom exists. For that, I'm envious of them and their happy little minds.

They don't understand the extent of the world around them; they don't worry, instead they live care-free lives in make-believe worlds. Where one of them is a teacher, the other a dog and they're on their way to Disneyland and they've packed their pillowcases full of all the essentials. How fun it would be to be a kid again if only for a day; wipe my mind of all the worry and stress and just live. Childhood is so important and so often we rush right passed it. My children aren't involved in very many activities (Hallie is in piano and Hunter has preschool) but I believe the learning that takes place in the backyard as they play is just as valuable because "Play is really the work of childhood."